We all know the famous story of Harambe at the Cincinnati Zoo. Will he be number one on this list? Probably. But it turns out that some very similar stories are very under-reported at all levels of media. Here at The Outsider, we wanted to fix that bias. So here they are:
5. Haggard, Lowry Park Zoo
Not much to share here, many of you know every grisly detail of what went down at Lowry Park Zoo. All we can say is- thank gosh that little Jimmy only lost the use of three out of four limbs!
4. Spank and Spock, Los Angeles Zoo
The year was 1978. The story goes that a happily married couple, Fido and Bonnie Jennings, were taking their eight-year-old gorilla-loving son, Fido Jr, to the zoo so he could take photos with his father’s brand new Olympus OM-1N SLR 35mm-film camera. At the urging of her son, Bonnie shifted her husband’s attention over to the giraffes taking a dump in the neighboring enclosure, so Fido Jr. could go for a closeup of Spank’s right molar to impress his father. Needless to say, it did not end well for any of the parties involved.
3. Cornelius Mojo, Brookfield Zoo
As the old cliché goes, as children, everyone contemplates running away from home at one point or another. In this case, it really happened. Twin sisters Ozzie and Rayne ran off one rainy night, bringing with them nothing but a butterfly net and a pair of wire cutters. Within minutes, they had bypassed the “security”. They walked towards the gorilla enclosure in the hopes of being able to catch it and show their parents how they could survive on their own. It turns out that they couldn’t. And the rest, as we say, everybody, is history!
2. Doc, Detroit Zoo
Broderick and Magnolia Porter were two children who were legally forced into an arranged marriage at the age of one because they were the only remaining members of the Zen Miracle Phoenix Delivered From Tequila cult. They decided to end their lives at age ten, as is the tradition in the nearly-gone cult, but Broderick decided he wanted to do it in as spectacular of a fashion as possible. He and Magnolia donned Matt Ryan jerseys, began singing the original version of “I’m A Believer”, and parachuted from a height of 1,000 feet into a gorilla’s enclosure where they were immediately rescued and thrown in juvenile detention for trespassing. They are both alive today, to their frustration.
1. Harambe, Cincinnati Zoo
Yes, this was expected, but still keep the tissues handy, just in case. The full story can be found in a variety of places, but the unique part is that it lead to a horrific death- and not that of a human. Even worse, it was the beautiful 17-year-old gorilla himself, one day after his birthday. Although Ohio prosecutor Joe Deters said no charges should be pressed against the boy’s mother, that was a clear mistake.