Paul Ryan Breaks Arm Dabbing

   On Sunday afternoon, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan was taken to the hospital after he broke his right arm while trying to prove that he was more than capable of pulling of a dab. The event took place after some news outlets such as CNN showed a video on Friday of Ryan attempting to dab. Apparently, the video was not enough evidence for some fans of dabbing, because they started an online petition that gained over 75,000 signatures in thirty hours and inspired him to go live on Facebook and prove that he really could.

   This dates back to an event involving Ryan swearing in a congressman with the congressman’s son present. Photographs were taken, and in the background the son was seen dabbing. Later that day, Ryan tweeted that he still wasn’t sure what a dab was. This proved to be a major mistake. What you might not know is that, later that day, the son lost his life when an assassin, probably payed by Ryan, sniped him from a second floor balcony and then went into hiding.

   The video on Facebook Live was sponsored by Pepsi. Ryan sat on a golden throne made of cheese and began dabbing. Within thirteen seconds, he was on the ground bleeding and screaming in pain. It took two minutes until the feed was turned off by authorities. All that we know is that Ryan is now in the hospital being treated for the injury, and that he will probably become a meme. We here at The Outsider wish Mr. Ryan a quick recovery, although we know that his political career will certainly be over after this catastrophe.

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