Nuclear Codes Missing: White House Infighting Continues

This morning, following a meeting between United States President Donald Trump and his new National Security Advisor John Bolton, the president tweeted about his anger and disappointment in his newest staff member for proposing a foreign policy plan he didn’t like. While the tweet was later removed due to national security concerns—the president included details…

Dangerous Asteroid and Rampant Blizzards this April

A huge, shiny, peanut-shaped asteroid will swing by Earth tomorrow morning, coming within a distance of 353,000 miles (568,000 kilometers) of the planet. Because of this, there is a possibility of collision with Earth’s atmosphere. If this were to happen, there would be a whole, the size of an asteroid, speeding the effects of global…

4 Key Quotes From Comey, Explained

These lines come from James Comey’s new Trump-oriented memoir and an interview he recently conducted with ABC. “It really did surprise me. He’s a very smart man and a lawyer. And so it surprised me. He shouldn’t have done it.” Comey expressed confusion as to why Trump colluded with the Russian government in this quote….

Most Americans Are Terrible At Spanish

If you’ve ever met someone in America who is good at Spanish, that’s great. More of us should work to be multilingual. But the majority of United States citizens speak only one language, which is English. Although many schools have mandatory Spanish classes, the language goes in one ear and out the other for most…

Evidence Mounts: Super Bowl LI = Rigged

A few days ago, we saw a very exciting game of football. Not only was it the Super Bowl, but it was arguably the most exciting game in football history. Hall of Fame running back Ladainian Tomlinson had some words to say: “Man, what a game man, what a game. That was worth livin’ for.” Many…

Vaccines Must Stay, Scientists Determine

Research by a group of independent scientists and economists has determined that vaccines are critical to the health of the United States and its citizens. Most people, unless they are in denial, realize that vaccines have helped to eradicate diseases such as smallpox and polio. Some dissenters reckon that vaccines cause autism, which is not…

Amazing Stats #6

Welcome to a regular Outsider feature, Amazing Stats. We will provide you with ten unbelievable, yet certifiably true pieces of data. Don’t bother to “Google it” because every factoid here is 100 percent absolutely correct and confirmed by our highly specialized team of expertly-trained experts whose expertise lies in fact-checking facts. No more explanation is…

White Streaks In Sky Identified

Have you ever looked up at the sky and wondered what those long, white streaks are? Some people believe that they are a type of cloud, but the majority thinks that they are the trails left behind by airplanes overhead. In fact, both groups are false in their views. No one knows for sure what…

Opinion: Jeopardy! Needs New Blood

Although the gameshow Jeopardy is one of the most watched, it’s also extremely old-fashioned. For example, two-thirds of all players only gain set amounts of money instead of their actual winnings. A contestant who really earned one dollar might walk away with two thousand times as many. In addition, the system which is used to…

Statue Of Liberty’s Motto To Be Modified

When a given American citizen thinks of the Statue of Liberty, that person probably associates with peace, stability, acceptance, and patriotism. If not, one section of a poem that reads “give me your poor, huddled masses, yearning to breathe free” might come to mind. The statue further represents harmony across the world because it was…

Alotacu Officially Recognized 

   According to reports from the United States Department of Language, the recently discovered language Alotacu has been officially recognized by the United States government. Although very few people speak it, its existence cannot be denied because of the evidence discovered several weeks ago by our research team.    Alotacu is a corruption/combination of two…

Trump Fires Tillerson

President Trump is continuing to fire federal employees over criticism of his “Muslim Ban.” His most recent firing was Secretary of State Rex Tillerson after he said, “Putin and I agree that other measures are necessary, and that this ban should be only temporary.” The reason why Trump fired him over this is unknown, but…